There are days when I sit down with my Golden Retriever, Max, and my Tabby Cat, Pearl, and contemplate our tranquil life. But then I remember when things were not always this serene. There was a time when my life was dominated by health anxiety, and navigating that landscape was not just taxing but also debilitating. As funny and positive as I try to be, the stain of health anxiety cast an unwelcome shadow on my existence. Health anxiety, also known as Illness Anxiety Disorder, harks back to the Ancient Greek term ‘nosophobia’, meaning a morbid fear of disease. It's a relentless fear that you have a serious disease, although there’s no, or only mild, medical evidence to support this. Essentially, people living with health anxiety experience an unwelcome and harsh reality - the fear of illnesses that they may not even have.
It often starts off with a splintering headache, which in the realms of your distorted thought process, seems to scream ‘brain tumor’. Or a persistent cough that seems to murmur ‘lung cancer’ each time you gasp for air. It's a never-ending cycle. Without any substantial diagnostic proof, the mind spirals into relentless worry couched in the potential of falling sick with something serious. And the spiral continues even after a doctor assures you that everything is normal. The mind, warped by health anxiety, simply refuses to accept reassurances.
Health anxiety almost always has a way of creeping up on you. It's like an invisible intruder that finds a quiet corner in your mind and begins spreading its menacing contraptions, unnoticed. It’s not unlike how my cat, Pearl, tiptoes into a room, surreptitiously maneuvers around, and finds a perfect nook to nap - all without making a noise. But unlike Pearl's cute idiosyncrasies, health anxiety is a malicious force, making the person feel inexplicably worried and terrified even in the face of medical reassurances.
One intriguing aspect of health anxiety is its unpredictability. One day, you are completely immersed in your daily routine, balancing tasks with seemingly no issues. And the next day, every minor ache and pain transports you into an existential predicament. It’s like dealing with a tantrum-throwing toddler who might decide to sit peacefully one moment and erupt with inexplicable fury the next. This unpredictability mounts an additional layer of worry atop the already escalating fear of falling ill.
Recognizing the presence of health anxiety is the first step toward tackling it. Keep in mind, this fretfulness goes way beyond the normal worry that nudges you to make a doctor appointment when you have a persistent cough or a protracted headache. This is the kind of worry that has you convinced that you are suffering from a deadly disease, regardless of what your doctor says.
Once you've identified the gnawing fear of health anxiety, the next step is finding means to tackle it. Therapy is an effective tool to deflate the magnified fears and morph them into manageable problems. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, has been heralded as highly effective in treating health anxiety. As my own experience demonstrates, it's definitely not an overnight solution. But over time, with dedication and persistence, you can start to see the overblown catastrophes shrink back into smaller and manageable proportions.
Struggling with health anxiety may often seem like an unending journey through a turbulent storm followed by long periods of eerie calm, only to be disrupted again by another storm. But let me tell you, it's not. With therapy and persistence, the storm ebbs, the tranquility lasts longer, and you start regaining your peace of mind. It’s a little like Max, my Golden Retriever, after his training sessions. Initially, he was all over the place, but slowly, he started responding to commands, became more disciplined, and eventually, found his calm. Just remember, like with Max, it takes time, patience, and a whole lot of resilience to combat health anxiety.
The strength of stories has an undeniable capacity to soothe, console, and inspire us. Looking back to my own journey with health anxiety, I feel it's essential for me to share my experiences so that others navigating the choppy waves of health anxiety know they're not alone. It's a cumbersome, painstaking, and often lonesome journey, but owning your experiences and sharing them helps others know they aren't alone in their struggle. After all, just as a beacon serves as a guiding light for ships in the vast, dark sea, your story might serve as a comforting beacon for someone else.
Written by Ellis Thornton
View all posts by: Ellis Thornton